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December 07 |
habitual? |
I’d like to say that by this point, blogging on a daily basis had become habitual. But it hasn’t. It is mostly due to a lack of energy and overabundance of other things I need to be doing. It is partly because I just have nothing nice to say.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Which is funny because it’s not that I’m afraid to speak out, I just don’t care to. I am far from afraid to voice my opinions on things. I am far from afraid of people. Sure, I am usually more diplomatic than those around me and I have a verbal/written filter in firmly in place that allows me to “hold my tongue”. But generally these are employed simply because I do not want to utterly break someone down because once I rip into someone, I do not let go. I have never lost a fight that I have willingly gone into, be it physical or otherwise. I choose my battles; I decide what is worth my time and what is not.
The holidays are fast approaching and I am finding myself in a state of despair. My financial situation is not good and I will wind up in tears if I am unable to buy presents for my friends and family. But as the days wind to an end, one after the next, I find myself closer and closer to the deadline and no closer in my list of people to buy for. It was bad last year but people understood that I had driven myself into the red with my trying to get out to CA to tend to my father’s situation as well as get us back across the country. I am positive that those who matter most would absolutely understand but I have no real good excuse this year. I have too many financial obligations, especially this month and the upcoming months, that just kept me from managing to put any real sum of money away. It upsets me. I am better than this.
Times like these, I wish that I had been able to spend more time developing my various crafting skills so that maybe I could just do handmade gifts. But as it is, I am self-taught and still on my way to trying out various mediums and techniques. Nothing at all worth trying to give as a gift or even selling to get money for gifts.
Show me what it’s like to be the last one standing and teach me wrong from right; I’ll show you what I can be. Say it for me, say it to me, and I’ll leave this life behind me. Say it if it’s worth saving me. Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me. With these broken wings I’m fallin’ and all I see is you. These city walls ain’t got no love for me. I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story and oh I scream for you. Come please I’m callin’ and all I need from you – Hurry I’m fallin’, I’m fallin’.
Linkin Park – “Savin’ Me
1 Comment
If people are unwilling to understand why you cannot gift them this year, they don't deserve to be gifted. As it stands I am not expecting anything from anyone and they aren't expecting anything for us due to the whole France expedition, so yeah, meh on Christmas gifts this year. LOL.
But like I said, if they don't understand, they don't deserve to be gifted and it really just sucks for them. *nods*